"heliochrome85" (heliochrome85)
12/09/2014 at 22:34 • Filed to: feels.
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"heliochrome85" (heliochrome85)
12/09/2014 at 22:34 • Filed to: feels. | 16
| 21 |
I have been doing a fair bit of thinking lately. It seems that there is a theme outside of the automotive world, that binds many of the members of this community together. Im not talking about a love, for all things fast, but rather, an inherent need to be welcomed/loved. More so than many if not all other communities I have been a part of, there seems to be a sizable number of people who are here who seem to suffer from considerable emptiness and loneliness. I don't want to be quick to diagnose people with dysthymia or depression, but I do wonder how many of us have this. I myself, despite all of my medical training, have had a lifelong battle with depression. My struggles, which despite being almost 30, remain ongoing and while I was blue for a very long period of my life, I feel a substantial drive to help those of you who are either younger or older than me, to get the help you need. Whether it is friendships/relationships that you find meaningless, or your own life that you feel is unfulfilled, there is value in talking to others who have been down that path and know the struggle . For those of you out there reading this who know what I'm talking about, it gets better. It really does. Life is too short to waste it feeling miserable. If things are going bad in your life, tell someone. This community has shown an incredible capacity to love, and despite each of our own personal issues, we still bind together. If you are in a bad way, feel free to always reach out to me.
Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:39 |
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Hear, hear. I'd definitely agree there's a high percentage of the moody, reflective, and even depressed here - I for one do much better these days than I did back in college, when I just about fell apart. It helps to have a table to sit around.
BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest.
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:40 |
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I haven't exactly struggled with depression or been diagnosed with anything, so I can't comment on that, but I get what your point is. For me, I consider myself an introvert, and I do feel that general need to be welcomed. I guess this way I don't have to actually interact with anyone in real life, yet still consider myself social.
Thanks for pointing this out.
Nibby
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:42 |
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Remember kids, Oppo <3s you.
Bandit
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:43 |
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Good observation! The sense of community on here is one reason I have been around so long.
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heliochrome85
> BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest.
12/09/2014 at 22:43 |
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I would encourage you to seek out meaningful relationships in real life as well though. If you really enjoy the online friendships you have, imagine what they would be like if you could have dinner with them? Every day you walk by people who might be members of oppo, but you don't get a chance to know them.
thebigbossyboss
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:45 |
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All of the feels. This community helped me through the worst two months I have had in a loooonnnnggg time, (september and october). and for that I am thankful.
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BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest.
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:45 |
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I didn't mean to say that I refrain from human contact completely, it's just that I don't have a huge number of friends. I just prefer a few good friends over a ton that I don't know very well.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Nibby
12/09/2014 at 22:47 |
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*h8s u
;-)
Xyl0c41n3
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 22:50 |
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THIS!
And this is exactly why I get pissed off when certain people are quick to let others see just how big of an asshole they are every time they decide to jump in on a post to make someone feel like shit.
For some people, oppo is the place they feel somewhat safe trying to reach out. If you read a post like that and your reaction is to tell the person to grow some balls, man up, or suck it up... maybe keep that comment to yourself, click away from the post, and move on. Leave that person alone. Remember Rule #1 of oppo: Don't be a dick. And if that doesn't help, look to Rule # 2: Seriously, don't be a dick.
norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 23:06 |
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I feel because a lot of us have gone through the same things at around the same times or at some other point in our lives. It's this feeling of family that I feel helps keep us together.
AM3R shamefully returns
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 23:16 |
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Oppo is great, I'm here for anyone that just needs someone to talk to, yeah yeah I know that makes me sound like a high school counselor lol.
K-Roll-PorscheTamer
> Xyl0c41n3
12/09/2014 at 23:20 |
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Umm Im still waiting for an email.
Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
> heliochrome85
12/09/2014 at 23:27 |
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I've had my bouts with depression, it was a side effect of an asthma medication, but I understand it. Although I was what I would call a "happy depressed person", meaning I wasn't suicidal.
D
> Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull
12/09/2014 at 23:28 |
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Honestly, think about what crowd a web community appeals to in general. They're home to all sorts of folks, but I think the awkward/depressed are overrepresented because these guys don't have social outlets in their lives so they flock to the forums.
orcim
> Xyl0c41n3
12/10/2014 at 00:05 |
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Oh, you mean the Hawaiian version of the 10 commandments? They only have one commandment, "Do no harm." Same thing as the 10, but the Christians are a little verbose.
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orcim
> heliochrome85
12/10/2014 at 00:24 |
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My observations of this community is that it lives. The internet attracts all different folk, so if we find a place that "lives" and there's a mutual attraction to it, people will show up. Self selection.
For instance, the internet is a brilliant place for an introvert'y type person. But they are also still people, so need some things that have been (in my and others opinions) been genetically selected into them.
Greeting and acceptance for instance. I have *never* (as noted by others and you) seen anyone here reach out and not be welcomed and sometime embraced. That's an inherent need in my experience and not a random thing.
Listening. People here listen and then feedback their experience without shitting on the original commenter. People (in my experience) need to be heard, but not necessarily agreed with.
Insight - when someone listens, they may actually accept the incoming data from another without automatically throwing it out. That hasn't happened here universally, but it happens a lot. And that's one of the main cultural ways people change for the better. I believe X, new data presented, now I think about X+Y. Unlike most of our mainstream culture where data or facts makes things worse, not better.
It's about culture..and Oppo has one. Other blogs do, too. Some depend on a "leader" or main author and others are spontaneous and somewhat crazed, but Oppo is "clean" in it's defined range to my mind.
Keep it up.
ly2v8-Brian
> heliochrome85
12/10/2014 at 00:30 |
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I'd say your spot on. I'm very shy and private in person. So I come here to discuss something I'm passionate about, with like minded individuals.
bhardoin
> heliochrome85
12/10/2014 at 01:49 |
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I like to think that we don't have a have a higher proportion of people suffering these symptoms than other communities, we're just a lot more open to talk about it. And because of that open and understanding support we provide, our friends here are much more likely to want to reach out to us for help when they need it.
I know that sometimes people seem to want less personal drama posted, but I think those stronger interpersonal connections are what make this community stronger than others.
TL;DR, I agree completely, I like that we're a pretty compassionate bunch of people.
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bhardoin
> BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest.
12/10/2014 at 01:49 |
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A million times this.
ACESandEIGHTS
> heliochrome85
12/10/2014 at 17:05 |
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Important point. The internet serves to further isolate some. Sure, there's community, but that can be used as an excuse to live in an insular online-only world.
It's worth taking a crack at going outside yourself to meet people too or at least relate to people.
Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
> Xyl0c41n3
12/10/2014 at 17:09 |
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Unless they like hellaflush.